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    4/4/2006

    断魂不语,尘满地

      11年前的午夜,那个茫然的小孩呆呆地坐在角落里,反复地思考着生死、时空和过去...幻想着一切仅仅是还可以再继续的梦境.11年后的今天,依然是残留着梦境般的思维,当年出离悲伤的小孩,思念依旧,却只剩下一壳因前途,爱情而空洞的灵魂.
      滂沱的雨声总是催眠效果最好的音乐,时至凌晨2点半依然不能入睡,所以这次又是个例外.疲惫的心态,酸涩得想要流泪的双眼.忧伤的悼念堵在胸口,从每一个细胞中迸发,随着脉搏跳动,和着所有的伤感带进心里,仿佛窗外噼啪的雨声打湿了整个键盘.用一种近乎模糊的文字记录,开始在记忆里搜索每一个扇区,找到的都是从手间滚滚滑落的液体灼伤皮肤的痛楚.我知道,每一次清明爬上那座山,站到那个墓碑前,我的思维便无可抑制.外公的离世永远是我心中抹不去的伤痛.无数次地幻想着再看到他的音容笑貌,幻想着和他促膝长谈,甚至幻想着跟着他舞刀弄枪,未及梦醒,一切便已朦胧.或许由于这样那样牵强的理由,我并不能每年都站在这里,但是每一次的悼念都会虔诚依旧.
      也许,生老病死有时候不需要任何理由,叹息的只是在离去的片刻,人是如此的脆弱.从寂寞中走来,向寂寞中踱去,生命的过程本身就习惯一种悲甚于喜的方式.当岁月从指间缓缓流淌而过的时候,是否唏嘘,菩提树下,心尘满地...

    Comments (4)

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    博群 张wrote:
    清明情绪,仅此而已:)
    Apr. 22
    Picture of Anonymous
    蓝烟 wrote:
    伤感ing……
    Apr. 18
    ziyuwrote:
    昔日庄周梦为蝴蝶,徐徐然蝴蝶也,以至于他始终不能分清楚他到底是不是蝴蝶.他居然曾有过这样的想法:或许我真的是蝴蝶,而平日的生活才是真正在做梦.  所以生老病死,并不是结束,这是生命过程中的一次转变,也仅仅是新生活的开始 .
    Apr. 9
    Picture of Anonymous
    cloud in the sky wrote:
    人生就像是天空中的一片云,琢磨不定.或许昨天还在阳光的沐浴中洋洋得意,但今天就躲在一处默默哭泣.看到窗外的雨了么,依旧美丽.哭笑也只是人生中的两种形式,不必太在意失去了什么,相信在另一方面也会让你有新的变化与收获.就让过去的美好时刻留作记忆,让它随着时间的推移慢慢变成永恒.
    也很希望在追忆的日子里能走上那条熟悉的路,爬上那座带给我伤痛的山,去看望曾经熟悉的人.但至今,4年中的这个时候,都没有能实现.或许忙,或许...大家也早已把我排除在外...
    Apr. 9

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